The weight of the world. Thats what it feels like.
I have always been able to take on a lot of things in life. Not just multi-tasking with my various projects or jobs, but taking on the supporting role to friends and family. I never mind doing it because if that means I can help loved ones in any way possible, I would welcome the extra burden with open arms.
But then there are days when the weight feels like it might crush you. The daily chores around the house, the meal preps, the pick up and drop off, the after school activities, the play dates, the part-time job, the projects. Then if a friend or family member needs you to be “the rock” for them, it can become overwhelming. The problem with being a rock is that as sturdy as a rocks is, it still sinks.
This was me last week.
I had grabbed the laundry basket to power through doing the household chores even though my body and my mind were completely spent from the everyday tasks and big family drama that had been endured that week. My husband asked me a simple question about where something was and I dropped the basket to the floor. This rock had sunk.
I looked at my husband and the tears began to flow. As I unloaded the emotions I had pent up inside, he sat and listened. After my sobbing confessions had come to an end, he stared at me.
“Then take a break. You can’t and shouldn’t take it all on.”
This was probably the first time he’s ever uttered these words. Usually I put my head down and work through everything that is put in front of me. Maybe he, along with everyone else, thought I didn’t need the break. Maybe it is because I never ask for help.
I spent the rest of the day in sweats, lying on the couch watching movies and drinking coffee. As the day went on, I began to feel human again. And thats when I realized something.
Mommy needs a mental health day.
Moms in general are capable of carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders. We try to embody strong role models for our children. We run the household. We work jobs. We try to raise good human beings. But what about us?
I decided that I’m going to start cutting myself some slack. If the dishes don’t get put away, the world will not end. If my daughter watches a little more TV than she should one day, she won’t be any worse for wear. If by letting certain things go means I get to take a deep breath and recenter, it will be worth it. And sometimes, I don’t always need to be the rock. I can ask someone to be mine.
Because at the end of the day, we do carry the weight of the world. And we certainly need to have a clear mind, an open heart, strength to ask for help when we need it and plenty of hot coffee to carry it all.