When my husband and I got married, I decided I didn’t want to be one of those families that spent a large part of a holiday in the car driving to different family members’ houses. I didn’t want to spend the mornings with my family, get in the car, drive an hour to spend the second half of the day at my in-laws. While it wasn’t all that hard since it was just the 2 of us, I didn’t want to get into the habit of doing so when we would have children. So we picked holidays. Thanksgiving goes to his family. Easter goes to mine. Christmas would be a combination by hosting it at our house.
The adjustment was not hard for my husband at all. No matter where we would spend any given holiday, he was fine with it. I, on the other hand, was not. I saw the split as a necessary evil to secure the smooth routine with no questions once children were involved. I have a small family. It is only my parents, my brother and I. Leaving them during a holiday was tough, as my non-presence was clearly noticed. Thanksgiving would come around and a part of me would regret the decision to split the holiday. But for 5 years, we stuck to our schedule.
Then on the 6th Thanksgiving, there was one major difference. I was pregnant. And all I wanted was my mom’s cooking! Not as a slight to my husband’s family, but nothing beats my mom’s flavorful, soulful and heartwarming food. The thought of eating anything but that food, turned my stomach. So we decided to stop at my parents’ house for appetizers and then move on to his family. We broke the schedule that year. Now I ask, what always happens when we fall off the wagon, whether it be an exercise schedule or new travel routine? It is REALLY hard to get back on track. The following year, my daughter was with us and I made the excuse of her 1st Thanksgiving to at least stop by my parents’ house again for appetizers. Every year following that, this became our new schedule. As long as we are being honest here, I don’t see how that will end and how we will get back to the old holiday rotation schedule. It means a lot to me that my parents and my brother get to see my daughter on special days. Again, with our small family, our presence makes a big difference.
Only time will tell if we will ever change this new holiday routine or if we will now forever be that half day holiday family that I desperately didn’t want. It was good while it lasted. But, hey, we tried!
How do you make it work?