The end of summer, and even the beginning of this new school year, both seem like a blur. As you may recall from a previous post, my family was in the midst of moving this summer. Needless to say it was a long and much delayed process that left the whole month of August through Labor Day a waiting period. I didn’t plan much of anything in the way of a getaway or day trip in fear that I would need to cancel plans should the move finally happen.
I always enjoyed planning special days with my little girl, but time was just flying by while I was playing the waiting game with my realtor. Deep down I felt guilty. It felt like I was depriving my daughter of a real summer. The summer we were used to having together. The summer of carefree, spontaneous trips to the zoo or beach, not this summer of mommy stressing about the new house.
So as summer winded down, we finally closed on our new home. As expected, it was a whirlwind of boxes, moving trucks and scheduling appointments to set up utilities. I started to lose track of time trying to ensure we had water and electricity when we were to finally settle in. I knew school would be starting in a week or so. I checked the calendar. There it was. August 29th. How could that be? How was it that August 28th came and went? I didn’t just miss the entire end of summer, but I missed a day that I celebrate every year for the past 5 years. To add on to the guilt I already felt, I had forgotten to celebrate my first daughter’s birthday (the little girl I had lost in a miscarriage). No release of birthday balloons or flowers placed down at a memorial as I’ve done in the past for my rainbow baby, my little Poppy. I missed it.
This past weekend was the last weekend before my daughter was going to start Pre-K. So I decided we should at least end the summer properly, while also honoring my Poppy. My mother, daughter and I got in the car and headed to The Lantern Fest. My daughter enjoyed face painting, balloon animals and meeting various princesses. We toasted marshmallows and made smores, listened to music and picnicked.
As the night fell around us, these huge lanterns were lit. It started first with one and rapidly multiplied into thousands of graceful, floating lights. As we watched the lanterns fly away, I looked at my baby girl and her expression of amazement. I couldn’t help but smile as she began to sing “I See The Light” from Tangled. She saw me watching her and gave me a big squeeze. “This is so amazing, Mommy! I can’t believe I get to see the floating lights like Rapunzel!” Despite my stressful and preoccupied state as summer came to a close, at least I ended it the way I wanted. With an extra special moment with my favorite little girl.
I looked up at the dark sky and listended to them playing Josh Groban’s “To Where You Are”. And as his words filled the air, my thoughts shifted to my rainbow baby.
That you are my forever love
And are you watching over me
From up above
Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
“This one’s for you, too.” I thought. No matter how busy and crazy life gets, no matter if I flake out and lose track of time. This will always be for you. Not just on one day in August, but everyday you’re not here. That goes to both my girls. Special moments and memories are made everyday, not just over the summer. So while summer has come to an end, our memory making is still just beginning.